Can Women Ask Men Out on a Date?

Have you ever asked a guy out on a date?

Especially in Christian dating circles, there is often an unspoken rule that men are to do the pursuing. At We Date Modern, we’re not sure we agree with this philosophy but we can’t ignore the degree to which this belief informs and influences our dating habits. When the chance presents itself to ask a guy out on a date, we most frequently hesitate, waiting for him to make the first move.

We’re not alone in this. The research shows that 93% of women are more comfortable with men being the initiators of romantic relationship and only 16% of men are comfortable having a woman ask for the first date. There are certainly some culturally embedded beliefs that are shaping how we perceive the appropriateness of male-female dynamics when starting a relationship.

Within the church, these ideas may be rooted in some of the biblical invitations for men to be the head of a household or for wives to submit to their husbands. While we discourage importing the prescribed dynamic of marriage prematurely into a dating relationship

What do you think?

Would you ever make the first move by asking a guy out on a date?  

In this episode, We Date Modern Founder Chanel Dokun and frequent contributor Rasheeda Winfield (Girl Gone Rogue) talk about the challenges inherent in asking a man out on a date. They also help you break out of your comfort zone with a dating challenge you won’t want to miss.

Episode highlights:

  • What the research says and why Rasheeda has never asked a guy out on a date

  • The importance of being clear on your intentions

  • The theological implications of women pursuing men

  • Chanel breaks down some biblical exegesis on the verse, “He who has found a wife has found a good thing.”

  • Why Rasheeda needs a guy to be clear and meet her more than halfway when first asking her out on a date

  • Rasheeda shares a bit of the backstory of The Dating Project film and Professor Kerry Cronin’s dating assignment

  • Chanel shares one of her biggest regrets from before she was married

  • Why the We Date Modern crew wants you to sign up for #teamfun

  • Chanel helps Rasheeda have a mini-breakthrough

During this podcast episode, Rasheeda mentioned how she was honored to participate in The Dating Project film. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s a documentary following the lives of 5 real single men and women, ages 18-40, as they navigate the modern landscape of dating. One of the most interesting parts of the film is the dating assignment Professor Kerry Cronin gives to her students at Boston College to help them learn how to initiate a little romance.

Take the Challenge

To help you shake up your dating life a bit this week, we’ve created the We Date Modern Dating Challenge. If you’re ready to stop talking about dating and experience something new in the world of love, we encourage you to take the challenge! Be sure to grab the rules and then let us know how it goes. We can’t wait to hear your stories so email us at You can also hop into the We Date Modern Private Facebook Group to get a little encouragement and support from women who are also taking the challenge.


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